| JOOOOOKE JOKE!!! | |
|
+10kirei desu vash asyhong_salonganisa bertow grrr_ munchkin gianne1006 tweety_bubbles gWacie mr_kash 14 posters |
|
Author | Message |
---|
vash
Number of posts : 103 Age : 44 Registration date : 2007-06-10
| Subject: Re: JOOOOOKE JOKE!!! Mon Jun 11, 2007 5:25 am | |
| | |
|
| |
vash
Number of posts : 103 Age : 44 Registration date : 2007-06-10
| Subject: Re: JOOOOOKE JOKE!!! Mon Jun 11, 2007 5:30 am | |
| | |
|
| |
vash
Number of posts : 103 Age : 44 Registration date : 2007-06-10
| Subject: Re: JOOOOOKE JOKE!!! Mon Jun 11, 2007 5:48 am | |
| | |
|
| |
vash
Number of posts : 103 Age : 44 Registration date : 2007-06-10
| Subject: Re: JOOOOOKE JOKE!!! Mon Jun 11, 2007 6:17 am | |
| Ano ang dapat gawin kung tinatamad kang magtrabaho Huwag aabsent. Huwag male-late. Pagkaupo mo sa iyong lamesa, buksan isa-isa ang drawer at magkalkal. Kunwari ay may hinahanap. Pagkatapos mong magkalkal, tumayo ka at tunguhin ang mga filing cabinet. Maghanap ka ng ipis. Kung wala kang mahanap, tingnan mo ang iyong incoming & outgoing tray. Kalkalin at maghanap ng mga natira sa iyong mga kinutkot kahapon. Huwag kakainin muli. Labag sa kagandahang asal. Kung naglalaway ka sa mga iyon ay kunin mo ang nagamit mong tissue paper na nailagay mo sa iyong front drawer at ipunas sa laway mo. Pagkatapos ay ilagay muli sa drawer. Maaari mo pang magamit iyon bukas. Malaking katipiran sa iyo. Kung biglang dumating ang iyong boss, hawakan kaagad ang telepono at magsalita. Kunwari ay tinatanong ka ng iyong kausap tungkol sa mga dokumento. Sumagot ka ng "Oh! I am sorry but I will bring that to your office immediately." Kumuha kaagad ng kahit anong folder at magpaalam ng maayos at buong giliw sa iyong boss. Lumabas ng nagmamadali. Pumunta ka sa CR. Magsuklay. Tingnan mabuti ang sarili. Mag-retouch kung babae. Tingnan kung baligtad ang underwear na naisuot at kung lalaki, maghilamos at basain ng konti ang buhok. Magtiris ng mga taghiyawat. Magtagal ng mga limang minuto. Pagkabalik mo sa iyong opisina, buksan ang computer. Hintaying matapos ang Auto Scan. Marami ring minuto ang magugugol dito. Magbukas ng isang file... Isa pa... at isa pa uli...!!! Pumunta sa ccmail, tingnan ang inbox kung may hindi pa nababasa. Magbasa. Kunwari ay bagong pasok ka lamang sa Grade One. Pagkatapos ay kunin ang mga dapat gawing report. Titigang mabuti. Pag-aralan ang klase ng papel na ginamit. Bilangin kung ilang words ang nagamit. Kung may tumawag sa telepono, kaagad sagutin. Huwag mong hayaang ibaba kaagad ng kausap. Kumustahin. Tanungin tungkol sa mga National Issues katulad ng tungkol sa mga jokes kay Erap o kaya ang pagkamatay ni Princess Di. Kumustahin din ang latest style ng kanyang damit pati na kung saan nagpapa-manicure at pedicure. Huwag lalagpas ng isang oras ang pakikipag-usap. Magagalit ang iyong boss. Kung may report na tatapusin, tapusin ng eksakto sa deadline hour. Kung may ita-type, magtype ng 10 wpm. Tunguhin ang mga file na inipon sa loob ng ilang araw. Ayusin isa-isa habang ini-imagine ang sarili na sumasahod ng 15,000 pesos isang buwan. Huwag tatapusin. Magtira ng para sa ilang araw na gawain. Palaging magtungo sa CR. Kunwari ay may LBM. Palagi ring bumisita sa ibang department, makipagchikahan. Huwag mong titingnan ang iyong relo habang ginagawa mo ang lahat ng nasa itaas. Kapag ginawa mo iyon ay lalo kang maiinip. Hayaang mag-enjoy ang sarili sa iyong katamaran. Magugulat ka na lamang na "time" na pala para umuwi. Ayusin ang lamesa na para bang napakarami ng iyong trinabaho. At bago umuwi, dumaan ng CR. Tingnan at hipuin ang mukha kung gaano kakapal. Huwag pansinin ang mga kasamahan na mula umaga ay tingin ng tingin sa iyo. Hindi naman sila ang nagpapasuweldo... | |
|
| |
markdr16
Number of posts : 42 Registration date : 2007-06-07
| Subject: Re: JOOOOOKE JOKE!!! Mon Jun 11, 2007 10:37 am | |
| iba talaga pag GY......zzzzzzZZZZ.........ang daming post dito....hehezzzzzzz | |
|
| |
mr_kash
Number of posts : 45 Age : 45 Registration date : 2007-06-07
| Subject: Re: JOOOOOKE JOKE!!! Mon Jun 11, 2007 1:37 pm | |
| Kung ang anak ng kapatid ng lolo mo ay asawa din ng nanay ng lolo ng kapatid ng pinsan ng lola mu na asawa ng tatay mu.... Tanung: Ano ang..... Pakialam mo?? | |
|
| |
sundae
Number of posts : 2 Registration date : 2007-06-07
| Subject: Re: JOOOOOKE JOKE!!! Mon Jun 11, 2007 5:04 pm | |
| Do you know INNER ROW? What is INNER ROW? Inner Row is that which comes before Pibrerow, Marsow, Abril, Mayow... Sa isang classroom... Titser: Class, what is ETHICS? Pilo: Etiks are smaller than ducks. | |
|
| |
kirei desu
Number of posts : 21 Age : 38 Registration date : 2007-06-09
| Subject: Re: JOOOOOKE JOKE!!! Mon Jun 11, 2007 7:49 pm | |
| | |
|
| |
asyhong_salonganisa
Number of posts : 55 Age : 41 Registration date : 2007-06-09
| Subject: Re: JOOOOOKE JOKE!!! Mon Jun 11, 2007 9:00 pm | |
| Minsan....
Napaupo ako sa tabi ng 2 babae.....
Ayun nauso tuloy ang Love Triangle........ | |
|
| |
asyhong_salonganisa
Number of posts : 55 Age : 41 Registration date : 2007-06-09
| Subject: Re: JOOOOOKE JOKE!!! Mon Jun 11, 2007 9:53 pm | |
| "It was a hard journey, but we never gave up. We tried our best to climb the highest obstacle just to reach our goal!"
--Akyat Bahay Gang! | |
|
| |
asyhong_salonganisa
Number of posts : 55 Age : 41 Registration date : 2007-06-09
| Subject: Re: JOOOOOKE JOKE!!! Mon Jun 11, 2007 11:59 pm | |
| How would a Batangueño say "Dad, your Mom is Here!"
"Ala eh Tang, Ina mo, Ire na!" | |
|
| |
asyhong_salonganisa
Number of posts : 55 Age : 41 Registration date : 2007-06-09
| Subject: Re: JOOOOOKE JOKE!!! Tue Jun 12, 2007 12:25 am | |
| 10 QUOTABLE QUOTES:
1. Better late, than pregnant. 2. Pag my Tyaga, GoodLuck 3. Aanhin pa ang damo, Kabayo ba'ko? 4. Pagbinato ka ng bato, Maghanda ka ng foil. 5. Kung my isinuksok, Anu ang dinukot? 6. It's good to give, Better to received. 7. Cleanliness next to Godliness, Oiliness is next to Blemishes. 8. Ang taong naglalakad ng matulin, Pawisin! 9. Pagkahaba-haba man ng prusisyon, mauubusan din ng kandila. 10. Honesty, is such a lonely word. | |
|
| |
ku-ri-sen-te
Number of posts : 20 Registration date : 2007-06-12
| Subject: Re: JOOOOOKE JOKE!!! Tue Jun 12, 2007 2:03 am | |
| [b] anong sabi ng kotse sa bakang tumatawid??? BEEF!! BEEF!! eh ano nman sagot nung baka??? tunginaMOO!!! | |
|
| |
ku-ri-sen-te
Number of posts : 20 Registration date : 2007-06-12
| Subject: Re: JOOOOOKE JOKE!!! Tue Jun 12, 2007 2:09 am | |
| Teacher: juan if der wer 5 birds on da fence,and u shot 1 w/ ur gun, how many wud be left? Juan:none.coz d rest wud fly away. Teacher: well..d answer is 4. but i like the way ur thinkin. Juan: i have a question for u ma'm, there are 3 women in d ice cream shop, one was licking her cone, d 2nd was biting her cone and d 3rd was sucking her cone, which one is married?? Teacher: i guess the one sucking d cone. Juan: no.d one w/ wedding ring on her finger, but i like the way u think. | |
|
| |
ku-ri-sen-te
Number of posts : 20 Registration date : 2007-06-12
| Subject: Re: JOOOOOKE JOKE!!! Tue Jun 12, 2007 2:12 am | |
| Nahipo ng pari legs ng madre;
Madre: Father Psalm 129 Pari: Sori.
paguwe hinanap sa bible ang Psalm 129;
"GO HIGHER AND FIND GLORY"
Pari: Shet! sayang.. | |
|
| |
ku-ri-sen-te
Number of posts : 20 Registration date : 2007-06-12
| Subject: Re: JOOOOOKE JOKE!!! Tue Jun 12, 2007 2:19 am | |
| inrits ur bocabolary: by manny pacquiao
TACTICS -2nog ng orasan
PAYT -laban para sa pinoy
TAYTOL -pamagat ng laban
JENGKEH -pangalan ng dyowa nya?
NO PEER -commercial nia
MOTOR KID -pag ikot nya sa manila
CHECK IN -manok sa mcdo
CORRUPT -pagsara ng mata
MURA LESS -nakalaban nya
WIT -timbang
WAWAWE -noontym show
DUET -gawin mo
LA -Leto Atsensya | |
|
| |
ku-ri-sen-te
Number of posts : 20 Registration date : 2007-06-12
| Subject: Re: JOOOOOKE JOKE!!! Tue Jun 12, 2007 2:23 am | |
| para sa mga smokers...excerpt from olay commercial
smoker: "after i tried marlboro total effects...
...my skin is full of pimples...
...my heart got smaller...
...and my lungs...
parang nawala!... | |
|
| |
ku-ri-sen-te
Number of posts : 20 Registration date : 2007-06-12
| Subject: Re: JOOOOOKE JOKE!!! Tue Jun 12, 2007 2:26 am | |
| Anak: Tay! may multo daw sa kusina natin?? Tay: sino naman nagsabi sau? Anak: si ate po! Tay: Naku! wag ka ngang maniwala dun!! wala nmang multo! hindi 22o un!Mabuti pa samahan mo nlng ako sa kusina iinom lang ako tubig. | |
|
| |
ku-ri-sen-te
Number of posts : 20 Registration date : 2007-06-12
| Subject: Re: JOOOOOKE JOKE!!! Tue Jun 12, 2007 3:27 am | |
| brain teasers q:isang umaga naglalaro kau ng lion mo tapos bigla ka nyang hinabol,umakyat ka sa puno tapos tumingala ka may nakita kng ahas na kakagatin ka na pano ka makakauwi kung nanjan sa baba ung lion mong nagaabang?
a:edi tumalon ka pababa kesa nmn makagat ka ng ahas at d ka nmn kakagatin ng lion mo kac naglalaro lng nmn kau ng habulan ...nyahahaha | |
|
| |
ku-ri-sen-te
Number of posts : 20 Registration date : 2007-06-12
| Subject: Re: JOOOOOKE JOKE!!! Tue Jun 12, 2007 3:29 am | |
| A Filipino Applies for a Job at Wal-Mart.
An office manager at Wal-Mart was given the task of hiring an individual
to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found
four people who were equally qualified. .. An American, a Russian,
an Australian and a Filipino. He decided to call the four in and ask
them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would
get the job.
The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?"
Acknowledging Dave, the American on his right, the man replied, " A THOUGHT".
It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way
it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of."
"That's very good!" replied the interviewer. "And now you sir?" he asked Vladimir, the Russian.
"Hmm.... let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that
it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of."
"Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye, that's a very
popular cliché for speed."
He then turned to George, the Australian who was contemplating his
reply. "Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall
there's
a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the
light in the barn comes on. Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I
can think of."
The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he
had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light" he said.
Turning to Eleuterio, the Filipino, the fourth and final man, the
interviewer posed the same question. Eleuterio replied, " Apter herring da 3 frevyos ansers sirrr, et's obyus to me dat the fastest thang known is Diarrhea."
"WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response.
"O I can expleyn serrr ." said Eleuterio . " YOU SEE SERR, DA other day I
wasn't Peeeling so good and I run soo fast to the CR or bathroom,
But, before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, ay 'tang ina, I already had a big tae, ka-ka or poo-poo in my pants. Eleuterio is now the new "Greeter" at Wal-Mart | |
|
| |
ku-ri-sen-te
Number of posts : 20 Registration date : 2007-06-12
| Subject: Re: JOOOOOKE JOKE!!! Tue Jun 12, 2007 3:31 am | |
| May isang babae na yumaman sa pagiging japayuki.
Nagpatayo siya ng isang mataas na gusali sa Japan.
Bilang souvenir, pinangalanan niya ito ng KINITA SAFUKI. | |
|
| |
ku-ri-sen-te
Number of posts : 20 Registration date : 2007-06-12
| Subject: Re: JOOOOOKE JOKE!!! Tue Jun 12, 2007 3:38 am | |
| Quotes by Melanie Marquez:
"I couldn’t care a damn!"
"What’s your next class before this?"
"Can you repeat that for the second time around once more from the top?"
"Hello! My brother Joey is out of town. Would you like to wait?"
"Don’t touch me not!"
"Hello? For a while, please hang yourself."
"YOU!!! You’re not a boy anymore! You’re a man anymore!"
"Come, let’s join us!" | |
|
| |
ku-ri-sen-te
Number of posts : 20 Registration date : 2007-06-12
| Subject: Re: JOOOOOKE JOKE!!! Tue Jun 12, 2007 3:39 am | |
| NO ID BAKIT nDI tNTgloG anG NO ID NO ENTRYs gate lalo n s pAarRalan at opisina..?
kZ pg TngloG un ang kla2bsAn
WLANG ID WLANG PASOK... | |
|
| |
vash
Number of posts : 103 Age : 44 Registration date : 2007-06-10
| Subject: Re: JOOOOOKE JOKE!!! Tue Jun 12, 2007 4:15 am | |
| | |
|
| |
vash
Number of posts : 103 Age : 44 Registration date : 2007-06-10
| |
| |
Sponsored content
| Subject: Re: JOOOOOKE JOKE!!! | |
| |
|
| |
| JOOOOOKE JOKE!!! | |
|